June 15, 2015

The Real Victim in a 'Third Party' Issue Part 3

Is it always the wife?
Generally, I should say, yes. No matter how much Ruben* tried to control his feelings and avoided Glenda* in every possible way, his wife, Lena, is the obvious victim. She may be the worst wife in the world, nagger, slothful, dumb and so on, she doesn’t deserve to be duped.
Lena is jealous. She checks on Ruben as often as possible. As soon as her husband arrives, she checks his cellphone and asks about every single text message he sent. She rants on Ruben when he arrives late even for just ten minutes. She checks Ruben’s uniform for any sign of lipstick or make-up or any indication that he’s been another woman. She spends all her time checking on Ruben that she barely notices they have three children to take care of. That one of her children couldn’t read yet despite the fact that the child is already in first grade.
When she is being eaten by jealousy, she would snap at her kids as if everything were their fault. She is so obsessed by the idea that Ruben is cheating on her that she ignores the mess around the house, totally oblivious of the soiled clothes scattered everywhere and the various toys that cluttered the floor.
Lena may not be the best wife in the world, but it doesn’t justify Ruben’s falling for someone else. It doesn’t matter either that Ruben didn’t intentionally fall in love with Glenda, he fell in love with her violating his marriage vows to Lena, he is AT FAULT. And Glenda, her feelings don’t mean anything nor do her intentions, she got involved with a married man. Period.
We usually judge at face value, basing our judgment on what we see and NEVER in what we don’t see. The real victims here?
I think we are. We are victims of our own prejudice. We spend meaningless moments mulling over something we know nothing about and something that are none of our business.
*not real names



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