Because of my fluctuating blood pressure which has been going on for a couple of weeks now, I’ve been very careful and watchful of my health. I walk around the subdivision every morning. I drink plenty of water. I watch out my food intake, I sleep earlier than usual and I take a break every once in a while so as not to stress myself out.
Though I know everything is going to be alright, I can’t help feeling… unproductive. It feels like I’m wasting my time doing nothing of importance. It feels so demeaning. I know I’m not supposed to feel this way but even the usual everything happens for a reason quote fails to lighten me up.
Then, I read BRIDA by Paulo Coehlo and came to this part:
“Right now, while we’re here eating, ninety-nine percent of the people on this planet are, in their own way, struggling with that very question. WHY ARE WE HERE? Many think they’ve found the answer in religion or in materialism. Others despair and spend their lives and their money trying to grasp the meaning of it all. A few let the question go unanswered and live for the moment, regardless of the results or the consequences.
“Only the brave and those who understand the Traditions of the Sun and the Moon are aware that the only possible answer to the question is I DON’T KNOW.
“This might, at first, seem frightening, leaving us terribly vulnerable in our dealings with the world, with the things of the world, and with our own sense of existence. Once we’ve got over that initial fear, however, we gradually become accustomed to the only possible solution: to follow our dreams. Having the courage to take the steps we always wanted to take is the only way of showing that we trust in God.”
I suddenly felt.. vindicated. I also felt ashamed of being arrogant. Who am I to question the plans of the Great ONE? Why would I assume that I’m supposed to do more?
Now I think I can bravely answer the question.
Why am I here? Gee, I don’t know… :D